The Rant-Toxic Wednesdays- Pt 2

Part 2- Mother and son.

A mother and son's relationship is something made of miracles. It's a blessing in disguise but it's also a curse. As I said in part 1 of Toxic Wednesdays, a mother and son's relationship are also a toxic relationship. Most women will not agree with this statement, but most fathers will agree.

Here's the second half of the toxicity of the relationship. Jealousy. When the son finds a woman that he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with, it becomes a problem for the mother because she feels that she's now going to lose her son, her best friend, her love, her everything, and therein lies the problem.

At the beginning of the son's relationship, the mother is happy for her child. She's happy that he found someone to love and someone to love him back; until he proposes. As long as they are boyfriend and girlfriend, mom's role as his number one love is still in place. This means mom's advice and opinions still hold sway over her son. Then the engagement happens now mom feels like her spot is being threatened, and then jealousy rears its ugly head. Am I wrong so far?

It's not intentional but it happens more than you'd like to believe. Mothers are their son's first love and that feeling of being someone's first love is intoxicating and dangerous because a mother would do anything to keep that feeling. Some mothers go as far as interfering with their son's engagement and marriages. It starts as soon as the woman responds to the son's proposal of marriage with a, "yes". This is when mothers of sons go into overdrive. They want to control the wedding planning and the guest list because in the back of their mind is, "This is as much my wedding day as hers. It's my son she's marrying, and she should be happy that I want to be involved." That's jealousy rearing its ugly head.

You see not only do we raise our sons to be the men that we want, but we also get stuck in the mindset that no one can love our sons better than we do, so it's extremely hard to let go of our first real loves ourselves. You see, your firstborn son becomes your very first real love after your father. Even if you get married, your son takes priority over his father. Tell me that I'm wrong. I'll wait. That's why the term "Mama's Boy" is so toxic. It's based on the real fact that some men never get off the titty because mom never weaned him off so he could become independent of her. These types of men never learn how to compromise so they always run to Mama for everything. To these types of men, their mothers hold all of the power and control over their lives, so if or when their son does find a woman that he wants to spend his life with, a mother's control is threatened.

For more Toxic Wednesdays read Part 3- for Father/Daughter Toxic Relationships next Wednesday, January 31, 2024, at 2:00 pm Est.