The Rant-Toxic Wednesday's Pt 3- Father/Daughter Relationship

(These are my thoughts and opinions, and conversations I've had with women on this topic. Pertaining to single father's raising daughters. Not everyone will agree and that's fine but let's have a conversation like adults.)

The same logic also applies to the father/daughter dynamic. They raise their daughters to be strong, independent women who don't bow down to no man. Fathers make sure their daughters never compromise their dreams, goals, and aspirations for no man. Does this sound familiar? These are all great qualities to have in a woman however, these qualities are the same qualities that your father prefers in the type of woman he's looking for.

Your father is your first love, and you are your father's first love, if your mother isn't in the picture. The love that is shared between father and daughter is like no other. (This is what I've heard from daddy's girls.) When you are a teenager, and you first begin to date, your father feels like none of the boys you like are worth your time. They always make comments like, "I know what he wants because I was a young boy too" or "Boys that age, are only thinking about one thing. I should know because I was that age too." But what your father is saying to you is he doesn't like the boys you're bringing home because they are all images of him at that age.

Although you get upset, you respect what he's saying because you see it as him protecting his baby girl. But the problem starts when you are in your late teens to early twenties. That's when you start to look for a man who's just like your father. So, you start dating older men because in your mind, guys your age aren't mature enough to handle you. That is a warning flag that comes from the love and relationship you have with your father.

Yes, I agree with your logic. Some guys that age, are not as mature as you are in those earlier years, mentally, but some young men are mature enough and you'll never get to meet them because of that thought process. As you get older and finally meet the person who you believe holds the same qualities as your father because he treats you like a princess, and in the same manner in which your father treated you as a child., (meanwhile you're a grown woman who should be treated like a queen. hint. hint) He reminds you of your father in every way, shape, and form. So now you're in love.

In your heart of hearts, you feel like, you know, your father will love this man, so you're excited about introducing him to your father. The introduction happens and your father is a little bothered by the fact that this man is eight years older than his twenty-five-year-old princess, and he lets it be known. You start to see a different side of your father, and you don't understand what the problem is. Yes, he's a little older and more experienced than you but he's everything that your father is to you.

Long story short the relationship ends, and now you're dating again, but every relationship after this older man doesn't work. You complain to your father that every man you date or get into a relationship with, says the same thing about you or to you. "You aren't looking for a husband, you're looking for a father," or "You're too damn independent and isn't willing to compromise," or the favorite words then always end's an argument with, "My father didn't raise me to bow down to no man, so you either level up or keep it pushing," and the man says, "I'm not your father so if you can't show me that I'm needed then, I'm out."

Your father always gives you great advice, so you expect him to say something extremely wise, and something that will make you feel better about yourself. But what he gives you, is his favorite line, "The right man will find you, and you won't have to compromise your goals and dreams for him." Now all you can think about is the older man who treated you like a princess. Now you're back out dating again and while you're trying to meet with the love of your life. Your father starts dating...

You can read Part 4, next Wednesday, February 7, 2024, at 2:00 pm, EST/5:00 pm GMT