The Rant-Monday Blues-Relationship Letters

**Disclaimer: These are my thoughts, opinions and responses to letters that were emailed to me.

Letter One- Not Pleasured in Brooklyn

I'm in a long-term relationship with a wonderful, loving, and attentive man, however, he's not pleasing me the way I need him to in the bedroom. I, mean the sex is good but it could be so much better. I've tried to give him hints on how I like it but he's not listening. He gets to release, and I don't. I wait until he falls asleep to use my toys to help me release. He's always asking me if it was good afterward, and like a fool, I smile and say, "It was great," instead of being honest with him. This is getting tiring. I'm at the point where I'm starting to become attracted to my neighbor. I need some sound advice before I end up doing something that I'll regret. How do I tell my person what I need without hurting their feelings?

Signed Not Pleasured in Brooklyn.

Good afternoon and thanks for writing to me. In my opinion, you should be honest with your person. The hardest part in any relationship is having to tell someone that they're not pleasing you sexually. It's also a bad idea to sleep with someone else because that will cause even more problems. I read that you said you gave him hints but he didn't catch on and that's because men are not like women. They don't think like we do. You have to be upfront with him about what you like and how you like it. Dropping hints doesn't work. If you're afraid to be straight with him for fear of hurting his pride, then I suggest you role-play with him this way you can start to guide him to where you need him to be and show him what you want done or how you want it done. This way you don't have to tell him. By showing and guiding him on what to do, he'll catch on and go from there. Remember it's always best to be upfront with the person you're dealing with so that you won't have these feelings of frustration. I hope this helps.

N.